Double Standard

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They are saying that it’s ok that a woman sees more than a single guy. But when a guy dates more than a single woman he’s bad boy. Double standards or what!?

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I was sent an “article” (I use quotes because the value of this information is in doubt) about men who “step out” on their women.

 

Step out. You gotta love these old terms that journalists keep using because they evoke emotional pictures in your mind.

 

The woman’s question to this - (COUGH) - “advisor” was “I don’t know why, but I keep attracting jerks.”

 

Now this advisor is a “VP of Romance” (Yeah, right) of a very popular online dating site. (And since we all know that men don’t know anything about “romance,” this advisor is a woman.)

 

She proceeds to describe bad boys and why women are attracted to them, because they are “philanderers and con artists.”

 

Wow, strong words.

 

Well, I cover this in my e-books, along with the breakdown of the “bad boy” and how you can use the good parts of his personality. Her use of the term “con artist” is out of bitterness. Some “bad boys” are just plain criminals that women fall for because they lack the self-esteem to hold to a higher standard. Bad Boys are not necessarily those penitentiary romances, folks.

 

Bad boys are men that have the right combination of qualities to make them interesting to women, but some character flaws that make them unsuitable for a long-term commitment. These guys are like ecstasy for women primarily because there are so many guys that BORE the hell out of them.

 

Bad boys attract women because they have all the right confidence traits that women genuinely desire. The downside is that many of these bad boys are genuinely assholes.

 

I believe that most guys out there are good at heart. We want a good woman that won’t nag or control us (and they don’t WANT to do this, but most guys let them, so they oblige.)

 

If we find a truly amazing woman with her sh*t together, we know we’d gladly trade in the case of Trojans for a more established “relationship.” And I hear about these all the time from guys who find her, but then proceed to get obsessed with her and scare her off.

 

This is why I always tell you to D.O.W. - Date Other Women!

 

It keeps your perspective, allowing you to not scare off the really worthwhile woman when you meet her. It keeps you from doing all the crazy obsessive things that push them away and ruin their attraction.

 

In this article, this writer then finishes up by saying: “While you’re working on all this, don’t stop dating. But do be a little choosier. … Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the first decent guy you meet, however.”

 

Huh? So if a guy dates around, he’s a philanderer. He’s a bad-boy and not desirable. But she’s saying it’s okay for a woman to date several men and that makes her “choosy.”

 

WTF???

 

Welcome to the Double Standard that NO ONE talks about. It’s okay for women to date a lot of guys and be choosy, because MEN are the ones to be watched out for, but a man has to woo her and romance ONLY her to see if he passes her tests for true love.

 

Puh-lease.

 

I smell what you’re cookin’, honey, and I’m leaving the kitchen.

 

While I’ll agree that there are guys out there who do fit the role of the man who “sleeps around” on women, he’s pretty darn rare in this day and age. And getting rarer every day thanks to our cultural awareness and a society of men that are now afraid of date-rape charges, sexual harassment lawsuits, and getting their balls cut off at the root in the new dating world.

 

It’s only one guy in twenty that knows how to stay cool without getting giggly around a really attractive woman. And one in ten of those guys is even capable of the “player” lifestyle.

 

Think about it: How many guys do you know that you could honestly call “players”? And how many are really “bad boys”?

 

In reality, these terms are thrown around as labels for guys after the fact. If she couldn’t keep him interested, he becomes a “player.” If all her girlfriends thought he was hot and knew he wouldn’t stick around, he was also a “bad boy.”

 

Most guys I’ve seen out there who DO have the skill and qualities to date many women are:

 

1) Up front that they’re not looking to settle down with one woman yet (which makes most women want to date and tame him even MORE), and

 

2) if a woman is lucky enough to find one of them, she KNOWS what she’s getting into here. She’s just happy to have found a guy who doesn’t try to propose or pledge his undying love on the second date.

 

It’s time to realize that you’re grown ups, ladies. You’re adults. We’re all responsible for our actions. Nobody made you go crazy over that guy you KNEW wasn’t going to be a long-term commitment. He didn’t manipulate or trick you. You jumped in like a nine-year-old kid doing a cannonball dive in the deep end of a pool.

 

There’s a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.

 

Gentlemen, I’m not into Female Bashing, I’m into MALE EMPOWERMENT. I tell you the things you need to hear and understand to feel good about being a MAN again. This world we’re in has suddenly made it unfashionable to have an XY chromosome.

 

Being a man is cool, Beavis… it absolutely ROCKS. And I know that the best thing is to LOVE women for who they are WITHOUT hating that I’m a red blooded MAN.

 

Love the smell of women, their crazy tests and head games, and love their soft squishy parts. But be sure you love the fact that women still want and need real MEN.

 

In this month’s Playboy, Christina Applegate says: “What if we had a bunch of guys trying to be more feminine to fit in with us? We like the maleness of men - the take-charge, take-care-of-everything attitude.”

 

Damn straight.

 

So here’s the deal: While it’s generally accepted that women can date around and be more “choosy,” men have to deal with the universal stigma that they are expected to date only one woman. And, if by some stroke of fate, if you happen to have the abilities and skills to attract more than one woman, you might get labeled “bad boy.”

 

But women will love you anyway, no matter what the label is.

 

Face it: Women like “bad boys” because they know how to make women happy. Women will take the chance that he might not stay with them for the fun they give them in return. They’re REAL men.

 

Women also love bad boys because OTHER WOMEN love bad boys! Always remember that women want what other women want.

 

—————–

Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as “Secrets of the Alpha Male”, “Approach Women - NOW!” and “Alpha Immersion”.

Click here for more information on Carlos Xuma:

http://www.alexcoulson.com/2009/06/alpha-man-immersion-dvds-discount-promo.html

 

Alex Coulson has been a core leader in the ever evolving dating industry, he holds cutting-edge dating workshops/courses every weekend around Australia and regularly holds dating seminars on attracting women internationally.

For more information and to claim access to Alex Coulson’s “5 Step System” Audio E-course for FREE (limited time only) head over to http://www.alexcoulson.com

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/attracting-women-and-what-not-to-do-962404.html

How to Meet Women With No Rejection

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Prejudice. What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too…

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Before I give up one of my secrets, I want to talk about a dirty word with you.

 

Well, it’s not a cuss word, but it’s dirty because no one wants to talk about it.

 

That word is: Prejudice.

 

What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too.

 

I grew up Italian and poor in a city in Upstate New York, near Buffalo. I used to catch a lot of grief for my nationality, but also because we had no money.

 

I remember distinctly one summer when I was working for the town. I had a few weeks left in the program to earn some money, and I was a po’ little 15 year old kid. I just needed a few bucks to buy some stuff I needed for the school year.

 

I remember sitting in the office of the town recreation board supervisor. A big fat guy named Ron, if my memory serves. I sat there in his front lobby for a while to wait and see if I would get the job for a little longer that year.

 

Before my turn came to talk to Ron to find out, in walks big Vinny. No, that’s no dumb mafia joke. Vinny was the son of a local business owner who had some clout in the area. Well, big Vinny and Big Daddy go into Ron’s office, while I watch Ron slap Vinny’s dad on the back like they were long-lost brothers. The door closes behind them and their laughter.

 

My heart sank.

 

Right then, I knew I didn’t get the job. Vinny was all set, and Carlos was out in the cold.

 

I remember sitting there with that disappointed feeling in my gut, knowing that this little rich kid was going to screw me out of my few extra dollars for the summer. Money that daddy could have given him in a minute, but would take me a month to earn.

 

And now I wouldn’t get it, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. It was the good ol’ boy’s club, and I didn’t meet their membership requirements.

 

Now, I could have gotten all mad about it, stomped my feet about it not being “fair,” and all. It really wasn’t even Vinnie’s fault. He couldn’t know.

 

But I remember having another realization. I thought that if Ron was stupid enough to hire a lazy dweeb like Vinny, then they can keep their lousy job.

 

Of course, that wasn’t much consolation. Until I came up with another realization: I would WIN.

 

No matter how much the odds were stacked against me in life, I would prevail. I could have my dick kicked in the dirt, and I would get back up again.

 

So why am I telling you this? Yet another of Carlos’ childhood stories… Well, it’s because the unfair situation that I found myself in doesn’t have to happen to you. Even if it comes up in another way.

 

You’re a victim of women’s prejudice, and you might not be aware of it. Just the same way I was as a kid, you are now. And it has nothing to do with your appearance or color of skin or even your income.

 

Let’s break down the word a bit.

 

Pre-jud-ice.

Pre-judge.

To judge too soon.

 

Get this: It’s been shown in some recent studies that we make snap decisions about people based on facial expressions and body language that takes place in less than the BLINK OF AN EYE. Literally.

 

I just finished this great book, “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell. It’s a study of how the human brain makes all these complicated decisions without us even knowing about it.

 

In his book, he talks about these indicators and signals that we don’t know we’re seeing, but we’re making judgments about other people based upon them.

 

Now something I want to add to this is that women are making them about YOU without you knowing about it.

 

Some of them will change if you take control of them, but a lot of them are tied DIRECTLY to your sense of self-esteem. You’ll show them because they’re impossible to control entirely.

 

Whoah. Think about that for a second. There are a bunch of things you can control about your appearance and so forth, but a lot of these behaviors are OUTSIDE your control. (Well, not completely, as I’ll explain.)

 

I think this means that a lot of guys out there are treating the symptoms rather than the disease.

 

And that’s exactly what you’re doing if you are trying to learn a ton of new “tricks” and seduction/hypnosis tools without training yourself and working on your INNER game first. All those cool hypnotic words and “negging” techniques don’t work right if you don’t know how to properly communicate your Alpha value to a woman.

 

Sure, you can “peacock,” but you have to have the right belief system to back it up or you’ll come across as a dweeb in a top hat and eye-liner.

 

There’s some good news here, though. You can learn how to override a woman’s “Blink” response to you by bypassing it entirely.

 

That’s right. When you demonstrate Alpha Male confidence, you are creating the persona (a REAL persona, not a fake) that will shut down or short circuit her subconscious attempts to shut you out of her life.

 

After all, on one hand, a woman wants love and affection and all that comes with it …

 

… but on the other hand she also wants a trouble-free life. She has enough drama already, and she wants to avoid any possible heartache. So she creates a lot of fancy protection mechanisms to keep you from getting by without impressing her in the right way.

 

Just like a rock concert where you can’t get past the big dudes guarding the band from groupies.

 

All you need is a backstage pass. That backstage pass is a concise method to approach women in any situation. To show, through your verbal power, that you are -

 

 

Confident

 

Secure

 

Interesting

 

Fun

 

For a long time, I had a problem talking with women. They just seemed like an alien life form to me. They liked makeup and sleepovers and pop songs about “girl power.”

 

I felt like I had nothing in common with them.

 

But I finally figured out the amazing core elements of good conversation, and they work like a charm on just about everyone you’ll meet. These elements can be learned and practiced with just about anyone, anywhere.

 

Here’s one of them: Start with a contextual “opener.”

 

What is a contextual opener? Well, it’s one that obeys the rule of “Where the hell are you?”

 

In other words, if you want to walk up to that girl at the grocery store and say hello, don’t ask her if she saw the fight out front. Don’t tell her you want to read her palm. Those are club openers that would sound stupid in the Safeway meat section.

 

Instead, make sure the opener fits the situation. Not only will it work better, but you’ll be much more believable with the words. It’s a lot easier to talk about the real world around you than try to make up something dumb.

 

“Hey, have you tried that new high-quality roast beef they sell here? I’m planning a party and I want to know if it would be good to put on the platter.”

 

There you go.

 

Does it make her toes tingle and her ni pples pop out? No. But it makes SENSE for where you ARE. And she’ll be much more likely to respond.

 

Now, after she responds, chances are that she’ll be a little overwhelmed by this unexpected interest and may be a bit bashful. (Guys often misinterpret a woman’s shyness as disinterest.) This is where you have to reassure her and carry the conversation forward.

 

“Now if I’d known you weren’t an expert on deli meats I would have asked someone else. But hey, you looked friendly.” Shrug and say this with a slight smile. “Are you here doing some shopping after work?”

 

And just gently carry it forward… 

 

—————–

Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as “Secrets of the Alpha Male”, “Approach Women - NOW!” and “Alpha Immersion”.

 

Click here for more information on Carlos Xuma:

http://www.alexcoulson.com/2009/06/alpha-man-immersion-dvds-discount-promo.html

 

Alex Coulson has been a core leader in the ever evolving dating industry, he holds cutting-edge dating workshops/courses every weekend around Australia and regularly holds dating seminars on attracting women internationally.

For more information and to claim access to Alex Coulson’s “5 Step System” Audio E-course for FREE (limited time only) head over to http://www.alexcoulson.com

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-approach-women-and-not-get-rejected-962465.html